User Profile

Customize

jjflo899

Add Friend
Add Note
Track User
Send Message
Send V-Gift

With def ears, blind eyes and mute lips...

Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours...

Created on 2007-10-19 15:56:38 (#14066752), last updated 2009-10-31

263 comments received, 220 comments posted

Plus Account [Gift]

310 Journal Entries, 18 Tags, 0 Memories, 50+ ScrapBook Files, 0 Virtual Gifts, 11 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	Lenne
Location:	Clinton, Maryland, United States

Contact:

leanessaservene@yahoo.com

Bio

"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."

- Anais Nin

My friends call me, "Lenne".

I've worked hard to get where I am; I've had lots of things to prove not only to myself but to others. They call me incredible but in my own eyes, I see just a simple person with nothing more to offer anyone else but my witty personality and ability to adjust. Beyond anything else, I'm overly kind except to those who make it their pastime to push other people's buttons. In which case, I'll fucking castrate you if you mess with me. Patience will only take a person so far and rudeness is not the ticket into a woman's favor. Respect my space and stand clear of my personal bubble. I'm not afraid to humiliate a person if they deserve it.

I'm not amazing. Then again, who is? We are all made just the way we were supposed to be, I believe. Gay, straight, kind, mean, tall or short. We are just as we are in the image of our own perfection. My hands shake when I'm nervous and I bite my lip when I'm mad. Sometimes I cry. It's proven that there are moments when we need a healthy dose of sobbing. I have fallen off of the horse only to get back up again and it is my own belief that we are but pawns in God's Chess Board.

Some people know me as having a bit of an attitude. I have no tolerance for stupidity and idiocy. Ignorance is not an excuse. A person once told me, "Avoid drama if you know where it is" and for once, I think I'm going to listen.

So, here's for the kids that don't know when to say "when" and for the people who need a push in the right direction. "Sometimes, you have to change your life in order to make it better."

"Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."

- Meradith Grey

For when my friends come over and the alcohol flows like a fountain into our glasses and our minds completely fail us like every other night is has. For when the nights are long and there is much to talk about and for when the Gin no longer does it's magic and the drugs are too few.

For when we no longer see the floor straight and the room begins to spin though we know that we're standing still and for when the world outside is too cruel to live in and the confines of my home becomes the safest sanctuary. For when the Real Life Vampires feel as though they cannot live amongst their own kind and seek refuge in the company of an all-too-human friend.

Sometimes, Lenne's house is more than just a place to sleep in; it's a refuge from those things that seek to hurt us. So, for those who have a key, you're welcome to enter when you please. And like an old friend once said, "Comrades enter through the back door".

And when you find that the Vodka and Whiskey is spent and the night winds down to it's end, you see that you lay to rest beside the company of a dear intimate who dares not harm you as she slumps passed out on the sofa while you are on the floor in some pathetic crawl to the bathroom. Like another famous saying, "What happens in Lenne's house, stays in Lenne's house."

Because real friends wouldn't let you rot in jail. They'd be right in there with you, leaning over to your ear and whispering, "Damn, we fucked up".

There's something intense about feeling like you're close to losing the one that you care about; every other pain feels less extreme, past loves seem like child's play. When something so perfect for you suddenly seems like it's slipping away, the rest of the world goes dim and your thoughts stop because the only thing that functions at that moment is your heart and it's current breaking - not your brain or your eyes or your hands or your mouth; though those function too. Your brain attempts to rationalize, your eyes are occupied with crying, your hands are busy gathering the sheets in your palms because if you don't you'll just cry more, and your mouth tries its best to stop quivering.

There's something intense about feeling like you're close to losing the one you care about, the one that you love, the one that takes your breath away. That's when you tune out all the rest, stop making wishes, close your eyelids to just take it all in...because this is something you never want to be familiar with nor feel again. So you try harder to keep the person that you love more than anything in the known universe, worry about losing them still, and make them your whole world because that's what they are. He's my whole world. My everything. Not having him around would be like the sky without the moon and stars or the day without the sun and the clouds. Not having him around would be like God telling me that love is beyond me and that, while my fantasy man exists, I'm not good enough to be with him.

For once, breathe. For once, appreciate what you have. For once, realize that even for an undefined time, you can love him even just a little.

Connect

Interests (28):